[Back on Track, 533 words, Genre: Dark Humour]
* Image courtesy of Dirk de Bruyn
Bill was getting his life back on track. Throughout his life he had used the internet for a depository for his wildest thoughts and feelings. That was, he looked at porn; excessively. He had developed a problem. More than a problem really. It was an addiction. An addiction of pleasuring the self. His parents had become quite worried with him. They thought it was to do with some sort of anxiety that the boy had experienced during his adolescence.
They enrolled the boy with various psychologists and psychiatrists to talk about his little… problem. But the thing was that Bill never talked about his problem. All he could manage to do was talk about how badly the world had mistreated him. He complained about this problem in the world or that problem in the world. But never, never did he discuss what his actual problem was. A prolific and degenerate amount of lust lay as an undercurrent of the boy’s mind. And never did he cease.
Bill would lock himself up for years on end. Masturbating, always masturbating. He couldn’t stop the act as long as the internet continued to exist with its illustrious amount of pornography, he would continue on with the act.
He never had a job. He existed on benefits and moved out of home. He found himself a single room in which the bills and internet facilities were included. And then it began. In fluid motion and consistency, day after day. The strangling of the one-eyed bandit.
His sleeping patterns were completely distorted. He would catch an hour’s sleep here or there. And then continue on with the act. Always continuing on with the act. Completely blurred to the vision of reality. Completely blurred to what was going on around him.
It was too much for his family and his family hired a professional to intervene. The professional had designed a mechanized belt for his pants that they attached to his person that would disallow him from accessing his groin area apart from when he approached the toilet facilities. They thought it would be successful. But not for old Bill, Bill found a way. He had a laptop and would take the laptop to the toilet with him to access the pornography and masturbate on the toilet.
By this time they had tried everything else. So what they did in the end was they paid rent for an apartment. Constricted his budget for food and only food. His family paid his bills for him and they would not allow him access to the internet. The whole town in the end knew. Bill was not allowed to have access to the internet.
And it was successful. Bill defeated his demons of chronic masturbation. It was a struggle at first, but over time he learned to live without the internet to facilitate his lustful needs. They thought that that would be the end of it. The problem had been solved. Oh, great and glorious heavens had opened up and the boy was cured of his devious affliction.
But then Bill got a job, was able to pay his bills and afford an internet connection. And then it began all over again.