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The Phantom

[The Phantom, 557 words, Genre: Dark Humour]

* Image courtesy of Dirk de Bruyn

Jamin had been the manager of the team for quite some time. The team worked on administrative tasks and they processed paperwork for other companies that were in excess of their raw material. The team worked quite well together, everything went along smoothly. Until one day it started to happen. Somebody began to make a mess of the toiletry facilities. Jamin didn’t know who it was. But it was creating a nuisance among the workers and all of the workers had begun to complain about it.

It happened in several ways. Sometimes the perpetrator would stuff toilet paper down the toilet. Plugging up the toilet so that nobody could use it. They would call in a serviceman, a plumber, to fix the problem and it would cost the company a couple of hundred dollars every time that it would happen. At other times somebody would leave it right there on the floor. It, I mean it. A turd, a stool, a log of shit. Jamin didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t know how to handle the problem. He was too busy caught up in the paperwork and backlog of data and files that he had to process. He couldn’t handle the problem by himself.

So after a while he decided to delegate some of his power to his most trusted associate Amin. He pulled Amin into his office one day after work. “Amin, there’s a problem.”

“What problem sir?”

“You know what problem. The phantom.”

“The phantom sir?”

“The one who is shitting in the toilets all the time, plugging up the toilets with toilet paper. Y’know, the phantom.”

“Oh yes, the phantom. Do you know who it is?”

“No. That’s why I need your help. I need you to save us all Amin and find out who it is.”

“Okay sir. This I will do.”

And Jamin with the stroke of delegating his power believed that he had successfully solved the problem. But the problem continued. Jamin was relieved because he knew that his favourite associate was on the case and would solve the problem for him. Jamin reported to his own managers that he had his man Amin tracking down the culprit.

One day Jamin went to the toilet and was sitting on it. Taking his time and reading the news on his iPhone. That is when he heard it. Coming from the stall next to him. The sound of toilet paper being unraveled and being stuffed down the toilet. ‘Who the hell is it?’ Jamin thought to himself. Well, this time he was going to find out. He finished his business and stood outside the toilet cubicle waiting for the culprit to appear. Jamin was shocked when Amin emerged. “It’s you!” Jamin proclaimed.

Amin was cool, calm and collected. He went to wash his hands. “No, it’s not me.”

“What do you mean it’s not you? I just witnessed you doing it.”

“Well, you see, sir. You put me in charge of this responsibility and told this to your managers. They know I am the one tracking down the perpetrator. So, no, it is not me… It’s you.”

“You’re framing me?”


Amin exited the bathroom, leaving Jamin standing there aghast. Amin went above Jamin’s head and reported the incident to Jamin’s manager. Jamin was fired and Amin enjoyed a healthy promotion.


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