[Think Positive, 830 words, Genre: Mind Fudge]
* Image courtesy of Dirk de Bruyn
In the future culture will deteriorate and all faiths will crumble as the world makes way for a new faith. This new faith will take over all others, guided by a charismatic leader of enigmatic charm, he will seize control of the world’s establishment. Leaders will stylize themselves on the one great leader and follow his example to keep the world in good order.
Jimmy had been waiting for the selecting for quite some time. The selecting was that time of year when the leader would pick out the most positive individuals he could and promote them to ranks of authority. Jimmy hadn’t been selected last year, the year before or even before that. But he knew this year he would be selected. He had spent all of his time concentrating really hard to think positive, because of this he knew he would be selected. ‘Think positive. Think positive. Good things will come your way,’ thought Jimmy. The entire year Jimmy had been thinking positive. He had been showing it as well. He had been working hard and always had a smile on his face. The leader came out of the back rooms for the selecting. He gave his annual speech, “It’s that time of the year folks. Time for the selecting.”
Jimmy and others around him began chanting, “The selecting, the selecting, the selecting.”
The leader raised his hand to calm them all down. They immediately became silent at this gesture. The routine was simple, the leader would use his staff of positivity (a wooden rod with gold sparkles glued to its side) to find and divine the most positive people in the area. Those people would then be selected. The selected would then go to the back rooms to make managerial decisions on how best to lead the workforce. For the following year those that were selected would be promoted to a position of authority, they would enjoy a higher pay rate and continue to hold meetings in order to best lead their people. Jimmy had worked very hard and he was absolutely positive he would be selected this year. But, as was tradition, only the staff of positivity would be able to make that judgment. The leader held it firmly in his arm, everyone’s eyes were glued to where it would point. The staff of positivity moved from side to side to come at rest at its first selection. It wasn’t Jimmy. He remained positive. It moved from side to side and selected the next. Still not Jimmy, he remained positive. And then the next and the one after that. It went on and Jimmy remained positive despite the positions available. Then the last was selected. It wasn’t Jimmy. The leader spoke, “The staff of positivity has spoken. It has selected the most positive among you. For those of you who have not been selected, stay positive and increase your positivity so that you may be selected next selecting. For those of you selected, follow me to the back rooms, we will hold our first meeting on how to best lead the people.”
Jimmy was distraught he walked back to his desk. He turned to his friend, who also hadn’t been selected, “Why weren’t we selected? We were positive all year, every day, I didn’t have one single negative thought this entire time.”
His friend turned around to him with a smile on his face, “I guess we just weren’t positive enough. We’ll get it next year.”
It was then that something snapped inside Jimmy, he became infuriated, “No we won’t! We never get selected. No men ever get selected. Why does the staff of positivity always point towards women? Why? I want to know!”
“Jimmy, that sounds like negative thinking to me. I’m not going to talk to you anymore because it might spread.” And Jimmy’s friend walked away.
Jimmy was still upset, maybe his friend was right, maybe he was being negative. But he was curious, he would go to the leader with these questions. He went to the door of the back rooms where the meetings were held. He put his ear up against the door to see if it was okay to come in. He thought he heard the leader say something like, “Want to know what the real staff of positivity looks like?” He then thought he heard the women giggling. He waited for some time, hesitant to enter for fear of interrupting something important. Jimmy worked on his courage to open that door, gathered and mustered it. Then he did. He swung the door open. Behind it was the leader and all those selected caught up in an orgy of insatiable lust. The leader had his fists in the air, in a victory pose, swinging his back and slamming into the woman in front of him, her tits jiggling in the air as she felt the full force of his thrusts. The leader yelled out as he approached climax, “Positivity baby!”